did i mention before that i was feeling very stressed out? if i haven't, i'm doing it now. when i'm stressed, i a)scream at everyone b)roll on the floor in anger c) eat and very seldom, i use option d) cry. thing is, i don't like to use tears often, because too much renders tears ineffective as a weapon to gain sympathy. not that i do it very often. but due to my character... tears seem to shock and scare people. not that i use them to manipulate the feelings of others. but i've a feeling i'll break down some time or other.

i'm stressed because of the promos and the piano exam. after years of playing the piano, i have reached the conclusion (a bit late) that my emotions are tied to my playing. when i'm tired and can't be bothered, it sounds expressionless and totally boring that one's put off by it. when i'm happy and relatively stress free, it comes out very relaxing and even when it isn't perfect, one can't help but enjoy the mood of the piece. when i'm annoyed, my furstrations make the piece sound angry and tensed.

how do i know i'm stressed? aside from the splitting headache of course. my pieces are tense and tired sounding. i'm reining in the expressions of the piece. everything sound so stilted. and false. so i'm rtying to relax. by stressing out on little minor things like will Colin and Christie win the amazing race? ( i like them, even though Colin has a filty temper that seems to mirror mine but i appreciate their spirit of competitiviness so sue me) or will Benjamin Eio get in for today's wildcard special? things like that. i shall not study tonight.

okay, shall complain. about bus journeys.

picture this scenerio. peak hours. crowded buses. people who can't seem to know any better than try to sqeeze their way into an overcrowded bus, pressing their bodies uncomfortably close to yours, their body heat radiating off and their breath on your shoulders. gross image right?

that's the usual scenerio everytime i go home from piano. today, single deck 74 came that was empty. devoid of people. big enough to fit 50 people. what do singaporeans do? do their make their way there at a moderate pace? no! they elbow their way through the crowd, huffing and puffing their way through. look around! seats galore! why the lack of civilized behaviour?

and when on a bus, please don't suck sweets and make those irritating noises when you do. this woman behind me was sucking on her mints (bad breath no doubt) and wanted the whole bus to hear her! it sounded suspiciously like a couple necking or something. (and if you're the kind of person that does neck in public, it's okay to do it discretly and in small doses) just try to avoid really really public places. an affectionate kiss is okay, head on shoulder is okay, but not major PDA. it aint something i'm desperate to see. thanks very much.